Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Day 10: Necessity is the Mother of Starvation

It's true: necessity is the mother of starvation. The more you NEED, the less you HAVE, and if you don't have enough, you'll starve. That's iron-clad logic right there.

That seemed to be my early experience here, but I'm no longer starving, I'm settled into a diet that's keeping me generally content, and I think I'll survive this thirty days.

Basically, I'm starting each morning with a smoothie, snacking on something early (carrots and raw hummus today), having a veggie burger or something substantial for lunch, and randomly making something for dinner, depending on how I feel.

A few days ago, when I nearly had a raw food psychiatric meltdown, I ranted to Kelly at 1:00 a.m about how absurdly extreme this diet is. I was getting flashbacks of my time in seminary, back when I used to be abnormally gung-ho about moral superiority, straining to high-five the stratospheric hand of God. I get that feeling whenever I'm being obsessive about something, and it creeps me out. It gives me the willies, as Joseph Heller would say.

Also, this supposedly natural, breath-of-fresh-air diet was causing me to do a lot of weird things: consider the fact that I now harness the power of two galloping horses in my blender, and I've got a plastic box that dehydrates food at low temperatures, allowing me to make fake hamburgers.

Alright, these ranty feelings passed after my morning smoothie the next day, and I realized I'm pretty happy with the bad weight I'm dropping, and I feel pretty good now. I don't know that the lightning gods are coursing through my unprocessed veins or anything, but I'm eating less crap than I used to and I'm settling into a routine that's not killing me.

In the future, I'll continue to post new food experiments. For now, thank you for allowing me to recline on this leather e-couch. Our hour is up. I'll pay your secretary.


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